Suicide did not happen


Day in September. On rye field you can still see tractor rails.  Ryes are collected. Sun shines in the eyes in that it is hard to see through glass of window of the car. There were two ladies together with me, who loves God. We were all going to Latgale to tell word of God.

“I know there have to be good road and house on a top of hill” told one woman who were from this area so we followed her directives. Just cut stubbles were scratching bottom of car. Time to time wheels stacked in rails of tractor. With both my hand I was holding helm because it  was harder to control the car. I was already thinking I should turn around and go back, because we were in the middle of nowhere and there was no promised house. Possible, if someone would see us from side, they would think:”Don’t they feel sorry for car?”

There is no coincidence in life, if something is hard and full with obstacles, that God has special plan for this which sometime is hard to understand for human beings.

Behind rye field we could see one little wooden house. After 50 meters from wooden house, I left my car and we went to the house. For us to be able to get closer we had to go through nettles. Surrounding was full with tare. One man around 40 came out from house, his appearance claimed about his disinterest for himself.

“I was waiting for you” told man

“You were waiting for me?” I was really surprised, how he could know it, because I did not know if I would succeed in it. Who told him that?

The mane of man was Jānis. Jānis told us: “My mother is ill, my wife went away from me to another man and she took kids with her, she left me. I don’t want to live anymore; I don’t see purpose of life anymore.”  I am hunter, kept on Jānis, yesterday I was hunting again, it was very good, I got some good one.  I loaded my gun and wanted to kill myself. Why should I live? The only possibility is to kill myself.  Today I still had 3 bullets, I put gun into my mouth and pressed trigger..Nothing happened..And so I did three times, but nothing happened.. Knowing that my gun works perfectly I could not understand. What happened?  And then I spoke to God :”God if it is you then please sent someone, who could approve it” And I want that to happen NOW!

And so now I am standing in front of this person and saying: “Jesus loves you”

God never dely. Sometime we think that it is too late, but it is not.

„For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”(John 3: 16-17)

Pastor-Terese Ivashko